The other day, umm I mean last month, I posted a few initial assumptions that I felt in my heart (and gut) based on a post aimed towards SAHMs on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.
Assertions aside now, and back to the specifics of the post, I wanted to take a moment to admit a few personal things here…
One, I have never stayed home with my kids full time more than five months at a time (at the birth of my second child) so I can’t claim to have ever been a committed SAHM in the real sense because I always knew I would be going back to work after my leave. And of course, I feel guilty about that. But I re-make my choice to work every day. And, there's a "support group" of sorts for this, Working Moms Against Guilt (WMAG) so I know I'm not alone.
Second, I am guilty of making a remark on at least one occasion that was called out in the comments section as being hurtful towards SAHMs. (Cue the Homer Simpson DOH! to echo in my mind as I read the comments on the post.) And, again, of course I feel very guilty about this too.
Now, I will say that I am more a social idiot sometimes than I am judgmental. The comment was made out of ignorance and not judgment. I have several friends that stay at home with their kid(s) full time. I have friends that have kids and full time jobs. And, I have friends that have done both. And I respect each of them all the same. Everyone needs to make their own decisions based on the circumstances and – if you’re lucky – choices offered to their family. And because we are all not cookie cutter images of one another (how boring would that be?) everyone’s decision is as unique as we all are as moms, wives, colleagues and people.
I believe it’s only hurtful to women as a gender for these “Mommy Wars”, as the friction has been dubbed, to rage on. We all need to support one another, support each others’ children. For my part, I choose to really think before I speak to SAHMs to avoid saying silly things that may be construed as hurtful because I simply don’t know better without their valuable perspective.
I also choose to acknowledge that I am lucky enough to have a choice. I choose to be the best mom I can be, however that may come to be based on my own personality, dreams and ideas of how to raise our children. With that freedom of choice, I choose to work. Finally, I also choose to accept all moms as VIPs and aspire to be the “anti guilt advocate” for all, no matter the “label”. How about GFM (Guilt Free Mom), does that exist? ;)
Assertions aside now, and back to the specifics of the post, I wanted to take a moment to admit a few personal things here…
One, I have never stayed home with my kids full time more than five months at a time (at the birth of my second child) so I can’t claim to have ever been a committed SAHM in the real sense because I always knew I would be going back to work after my leave. And of course, I feel guilty about that. But I re-make my choice to work every day. And, there's a "support group" of sorts for this, Working Moms Against Guilt (WMAG) so I know I'm not alone.
Second, I am guilty of making a remark on at least one occasion that was called out in the comments section as being hurtful towards SAHMs. (Cue the Homer Simpson DOH! to echo in my mind as I read the comments on the post.) And, again, of course I feel very guilty about this too.
Now, I will say that I am more a social idiot sometimes than I am judgmental. The comment was made out of ignorance and not judgment. I have several friends that stay at home with their kid(s) full time. I have friends that have kids and full time jobs. And, I have friends that have done both. And I respect each of them all the same. Everyone needs to make their own decisions based on the circumstances and – if you’re lucky – choices offered to their family. And because we are all not cookie cutter images of one another (how boring would that be?) everyone’s decision is as unique as we all are as moms, wives, colleagues and people.
I believe it’s only hurtful to women as a gender for these “Mommy Wars”, as the friction has been dubbed, to rage on. We all need to support one another, support each others’ children. For my part, I choose to really think before I speak to SAHMs to avoid saying silly things that may be construed as hurtful because I simply don’t know better without their valuable perspective.
I also choose to acknowledge that I am lucky enough to have a choice. I choose to be the best mom I can be, however that may come to be based on my own personality, dreams and ideas of how to raise our children. With that freedom of choice, I choose to work. Finally, I also choose to accept all moms as VIPs and aspire to be the “anti guilt advocate” for all, no matter the “label”. How about GFM (Guilt Free Mom), does that exist? ;)
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