flip flops for heels

I traded my flip flops for my "city apparel" this week. Last night I attended the DEMO Alum event in S.F. and it was a rockin time. Fitting, considering it was hosted at the Rockit Room.

Nicole Richie made me feel normal today

While I definitely am not further pointing out perceived shortcomings on Nicole Richie’s appearance like Perez did, I have to say seeing this photo of her w some unkempt hair was a relief. I’ve been wearing a sloppy bun or ponytail in my hair for about four years now. Yup, you remember right, my oldest kid is four. Sometimes there are just cooler things to do than your hair when you have an infant and have some time, like go shopping, take a shower or get some sleep.

Congrats, Mister David Cook

Say hello to stardom and an absolute goodbye to your privacy.

The headlines have already begun...
David Cook Dating Lacey Schwimmer?
David Cook is 'Going to Disney World!'
And now Perez is writing about his win Note that Perez posted at 10:39 pm and by midnight there were already 1,185 comments. Wow. Or as Joey might say, Wooooah.

Here's a peek at some of that charisma, and probably one of his very first hefty endorsement paychecks.

As close as I'll ever get to Oscar

FilmStew gave me a wonderful present this week.

Diablo Cody, the Oscar- winning director (for Juno, have ya heard of it?), has her own Twitter account and I’ve been following it for almost a week now. Like most Twitterites, she discloses a lot – personal details, thoughts on the things surrounding her life at the moment – and she also reveals very fun things about the activities and goings on in her life, professionally. For me, a self professed movie goober, it's like being a third-removed cousin from the movie set and it feels awesome.

So now I’ve become like the Twitterazi, following her moves on Twitter, looking for my glimpse into her life.

Booooo Kathie Lee Gifford

There will always be differing opinions within the mommy blogger circle on how much exposure, if any, of our kids is too much. That topic is fodder for one million (pinky to lip) blog posts, but that’s not what this one is about.

NBC’s Today show was set to run a segment on mommy bloggers this morning. I’d heard about it through a colleague of mine, LTV Mom, who contributes to the Silicon Valley Moms Blog and I tuned in so that I could learn more about it and see (instead of just read) some of the women that pioneered the phenomenon.

What I ended up watching got me very riled up. Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb seemed determined to turn what I thought would be an informative and interesting segment into a frustrating viewer experience.

On the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, tied to the post highlighting the segment airing, there is some chatter in the comments section about KLG and her behavior on the segment. One hot point was her seeming “attack” on guest Heather Armstrong, a very successful mommy blogger.

My synopsis of how it all went down:

First Kathie Lee admitted she doesn’t know how to use a computer. Fine. Weird for anyone in the professional world these days, but fine. She then seemed to not know the format for the segment, forgetting that pre-taped footage would air before the interview with Armstrong making the intro choppy. Then Kathie Lee butchered her first question for Armstrong based on her complete ignorance of all things computer related, such as blogging. Being in comms, I’m 99.99% sure that Armstrong or her “people” gave the show background material with an overview of what she does. And, I’m also fairly certain there are Today staffers also in charge of further prepping the talent. Apparently either it was so over KLG’s head that she didn’t get any of it, or she didn’t bother to read it at all (or maybe it came in an email, which she couldn’t figure out how to read). And then, KLG awkwardly cut Armstrong off on a few occasions to question her judgment in posting the intimate details of her family life, including photos of her four year old daughter (a little hypocritical, IMHO, based on KLG's past <3 of talking about her own kids on air - but again, whatevah). Then there was a weird moment of uncomfortably out of place triumph for KLG as she thought she’d proven something very important when Armstrong tried to use an analogy about privacy/child safety and incorrectly assumed KLG lived in New York city, which apparently she does not.

Again, the potential danger of revealing information about our children on our blogs is not what this post is about.

As others have commented on SV Moms blog - and I whole heartedly agree - is that whether you believe KLG to be correct or not has little to do with how disrespectful she was as a "professional journalist" (those are mocking air quotes if you couldn't tell).

She was ill prepared for the segment, and for Heather specifically. IMHO that's very disrespectful to the guest and to an audience tuning in for more than just one person's self-admitted uneducated opinion. She didn't let her guest finish her answers, and interrupted with loaded questions. Maybe this is common for the show/KLG? I wouldn't know...I tuned in specifically because I knew there would be a mommy bloggers segment and I wanted to listen in and learn more.

There's times I find it very stimulating (and entertaining) when host and guest disagree because it's usually a very passionate and educational discussion. This, however, was not the case today as there was very little education allowed.

I don't know KLG. And I won't judge her personal beliefs and opinions (ummm, any more than I already did here). However, she is paid to be a professional journalist on a very credible outlet and I would have hoped she'd acted like one.

Maybe you want a look-see so you can formulate your own opinion?






UPDATE: For a gal that doesn't know how to use a computer and came off very "anti", her website http://kathieleegifford.com/ sure seems pretty polished -- and includes pics of her whole family in their home. Must be the OTHER Kathie Lee.

Where's that wagon?

I know I am probably a bandwagonner at this point on my AI selection, but whateveah.

I like little Archuleta but he always sounds like he’s singing to an audience made up of old folks home residents listening in for a special treat from their grandson. Brooke is nice, but I get bored listening to her. Same with Sayesha. Jason is just plain awkward and I think maybe he’s always high?

IMHO, and that’s a real H as someone that self-admittedly cannot carry a tune, “America” kicked off all the good peeps already except David Cook (and I don’t even think he has the charisma factor that Blake-that-ended-up-going-nowhere-from-last-year had). But that’s my pick and I’ll stick to it.

PS It is even possible that I might miss Kristi Lee Cook's glitter stick shadow? Cuz I think I do.

My own inconvenient truth

A client oh-so-kindly (not really) revealed to me the origins of my favorite treat (via pie chart no less).


While I am surprised I don’t have a snout, horns and hooves by now, I think this may have done the trick to rid me of this bad habit.

Addition: After my mom sent me a note thinking the ingredients in the pie chart went into Red Bull, I thought I should clarify. These are the ingredients that make up gelatin, and which hold together my previously-precious gummy bear and worm treats.

Social Networking (aka those annoying invitations to join so-and-so’s network)

Those of you reading that know me from work know that I’m an avid Facebooker (new word, I guess). To those of you out there that are in the family and friends category and are not already on Facebook, you’ve probably heard me encourage you to sign up or speak to its benefits – professionally and socially.

So far, from my family, I have one convert. My mom. The fearless tech pioneer that brought Rat Maze and Goldmine into our house via our Commodore PET 8032 computer in the early 80s. One of my aunts and several of my cousins are also on Facebook. I swear I know more about their lives now than I ever did growing up as a kid. It’s pretty great.

Anyway, if you’re wondering why you might want to look into joining a social network, like Facebook or LinkedIn (where I also have a profile but spend far less time) this PBS MediaShift blog post offers some general education on social networks (if you won’t just join Facebook to see pictures of my son’s rockin pirate ship birthday cake). For you "oldies", there's even http://www.boomer.com/!

Women, guilt and being a mom part 2: Choosing peace

The other day, umm I mean last month, I posted a few initial assumptions that I felt in my heart (and gut) based on a post aimed towards SAHMs on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Assertions aside now, and back to the specifics of the post, I wanted to take a moment to admit a few personal things here…

One, I have never stayed home with my kids full time more than five months at a time (at the birth of my second child) so I can’t claim to have ever been a committed SAHM in the real sense because I always knew I would be going back to work after my leave. And of course, I feel guilty about that. But I re-make my choice to work every day. And, there's a "support group" of sorts for this, Working Moms Against Guilt (WMAG) so I know I'm not alone.

Second, I am guilty of making a remark on at least one occasion that was called out in the comments section as being hurtful towards SAHMs. (Cue the Homer Simpson DOH! to echo in my mind as I read the comments on the post.) And, again, of course I feel very guilty about this too.

Now, I will say that I am more a social idiot sometimes than I am judgmental. The comment was made out of ignorance and not judgment. I have several friends that stay at home with their kid(s) full time. I have friends that have kids and full time jobs. And, I have friends that have done both. And I respect each of them all the same. Everyone needs to make their own decisions based on the circumstances and – if you’re lucky – choices offered to their family. And because we are all not cookie cutter images of one another (how boring would that be?) everyone’s decision is as unique as we all are as moms, wives, colleagues and people.

I believe it’s only hurtful to women as a gender for these “Mommy Wars”, as the friction has been dubbed, to rage on. We all need to support one another, support each others’ children. For my part, I choose to really think before I speak to SAHMs to avoid saying silly things that may be construed as hurtful because I simply don’t know better without their valuable perspective.

I also choose to acknowledge that I am lucky enough to have a choice. I choose to be the best mom I can be, however that may come to be based on my own personality, dreams and ideas of how to raise our children. With that freedom of choice, I choose to work. Finally, I also choose to accept all moms as VIPs and aspire to be the “anti guilt advocate” for all, no matter the “label”. How about GFM (Guilt Free Mom), does that exist? ;)

Assertions on women, guilt and being a mom

I am a woman (or a silly girl in a 30-something woman's body), so I feel I am allowed to make a few assertions about my own gender.

We often lash out when feeling cornered and guilty about some of our choices, and especially when we feel those choices are questioned. And, for those of us women that are also moms we often feel as if we’re never making the right choice for our children. And, of course, that makes us feel guilty and - for some of us - it makes us irrationally lash out, intentional or not.

There was a post yesterday on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog titled “A Dear SAHM Mom Letter”. The post is a note addressed to a few specific SAHMs (Stay at Home Moms) that had either unknowingly or passive aggressively insulted the blogger, who works a full time job. The letter ignited a firestorm of comments from SAHMs and FTWMs (Full Time Working Moms) alike. I assert that many of these passionate feelings of agreement or dissent stem from guilt in one shape or another.

And now I speak only for me: I assert that these types of comments or feelings are coming from a place of guilt because I feel guilty every day about some parenting choice that I have made. And, inevitably, I play the “grass is always greener” game in my head and then talk myself back into "being right" about my own personal decision to work, always ending up right back in my own green yard (yet still feeling guilty nonetheless).

But after reading the post and all the comments what I really realize is that there is no right or wrong. For anyone. Including me. Just our choices trying to match up to the expectations we have for ourselves as parents.

Finally, I assert that our expectations for ourselves are crazy. How can we possibly put expectations on others if we aren't even reasonable with ourselves? If we all cut ourselves -- and the moms around us -- some slack, it might go a long way in uniting us instead of dividing us.

Horton Review. We went to see it, will you?

First – NO SPOILERS HERE (even though you've probably read the book 543 times).

Took our kids to see the latest Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hears a Who, to make it onto the big screen and it was a great time. It’s worth a post for this proud mom because it’s the first time we’ve taken our son to the theater for a flick (he's just about three). I think he was most excited to eat Red Vines (a family tradition), rather than being excited for his first movie but oh well.

Horton was the third trip to the movies for my daughter (four and a half), although she's made it through only one other full length feature in a theater before. Our first try, we had to leave Ratatouille when the rat kept biting the chef about 30 minutes into the flick. My daughter insisted the rat was mean and that we should leave. So we left and went and shared an ice cream sundae instead. For the other movie she remained engaged throughout, see here. It might surprise you. But back to the topic at hand.

My son and daughter cackled their brains out for the first 15 minutes of the movie. For me, it was the truest parental bliss ever watching our two kids giggle and clutch at each other out of pure joy like a pair of best friends having the time of their lives.

As the storyline matured, my daughter became completely entranced, taking in every line, hanging on every joke and taking care to tell me when one of the characters was being mean. She did like to point out on a few occasions that in the book she reads at home Horton sits on an egg and that there is no egg in this movie.

Meanwhile, my son began to fidget around…asking when Dr. Seuss would appear and he became very disappointed when he discovered Dr. Seuss would not be appearing on the screen. (Bets placed now our guy is a performer and not a behind the scenes guy.) Fast forward ~30 minutes. This disappointment led to being thirsty, then to having to use the potty and then to playing video games out in the arcade instead of watching the movie. Maybe next time…

Take away: For the four year old in your life, this is definitely an RBM endorsed flick.

Identity Crisis

If you’ve been here before, you’ll notice that I’ve had a blogger identity crisis. I’ve redone the page, as you can see, to reflect my morphing online identity.

It all started when I stopped drinking Red Bull. HOLD. Don’t get the wrong idea. I am still a caffeine freak. Red Bull itself simply became too pricey.

I considered renaming the whole blog but nothing else felt right. I have become kinda attached to signing all my comments, posts, etc. “RBM” and it has become my personal online identity.

So I’m RBM. But I drink Rock Star, Full Throttle, or Max Velocity – whatever is on sale that week. I’ll have to be content with that… until I can get Red Bull to sponsor me that is. ;-)

Is there anyone out there?

While I don't expect that there are too many others out there in the Ketchum/Sun Valley community with my work/living situation, I wouldn't be surprised to find at least a few. Perhaps Sun Valley Online's little "Blogging 101" seminar next week will bring them into the blogosphere and we'll connect. While I'll be out of town on business during the informal get together I'll keep my eyes open online!

Corporate DNA

After basic intro high school biology I knew that you passed along your own DNA when you have a child. What nobody clued me into was that somehow corporate DNA can be passed along too.

Case in point:

I do not karaoke (okay, maybe once or twice in college with my Neil Diamond obsessed roommate). My husband does not karaoke.

On the flip side, nine out of ten of my colleagues love, I mean L-O-V-E, to karaoke. Anyone that has been to one of our company retreats knows that every year at least one or two people go hoarse from dominating the mic. We even own our own karaoke machine (and it's a beaut)that can be found in the Palo Alto lounge.

Now, check out my son's performance below. Someone explain to me how our corporate DNA got passed along to my child. Osmosis? Subliminal messaging? Someone spiked my Frappucinos?

The one boob wonder

My mom is the strongest, most amazing woman I know. She endured hours of surgery yesterday (masectomy, if you couldn't guess by the title) and still managed to call last night to let us know she was doing well and feeling good. She was even cracking jokes and asking for more pics of the grandkids so she could check them out online.

I hope I am even half as strong a woman as she is when I'm old enough to be known as "Grandma".

Two battles down, one more to go.

A special thanks also goes out to "Nurse Grandpa", who has been taking good care of our VIP patient.

Happy Trypto Day!

From one mother to another

Mother Nature is not cooperating this year and is messing with a favorite family tradition. For the past several years we’ve had a Ski’n’Turkey Thanksgiving where we (read: my husband, the chef) prep the Turkey and other staples like green bean casserole (my contribution) and then our family of four would head out for a few hours of skiing and/or sledding fun. Then, tuckered out from the outdoor activity we’d return to the wonderful smell of a nearly-done turkey and the anticipation of hanging with friends and family. Ahhh…I am getting nostalgic and giddy just thinking about it.

This year, though, there is no snow. They’re even delaying the opening of the mountain until SATURDAY. Boooo. I mean, this is where we’ve scored 99% of our holiday card pics since everyone is thoroughly and genuinely enjoying their first day out. We’ll still take our two future Olympians skiing on the kiddie slopes where we can use our own vim vigor to get them up the hill and the manmade snow is bountiful, and they will inevitably have a blast. But wouldn’t it be nice if it just dumped snow tonight through Thursday? C’mon, Mother Nature. Don’t you want to help this taurine-lovin’ mom out? :)


Below is a short vid of our youngest skiing at 22 months old (last January).

Happy Halloween!

Those that truly know me also know that Halloween is my favorite holiday of all.

If you're a local reader...maybe I'll see you tomorrow night. I'll be the one dressed as Helen Roper - my hubby will be Stanley Roper, of course. And, I'll be with the ladybug (or maybe Tinkerbell for round 2) and the mini SF Giants baseball player.

And, in case you're caught unprepared, I leave you with some last-minute costume ideas from Adam Sandler.

Update: How did we look??

Eye Spy...

As my daughter says... "I spy with my little eye" something very familiar in the trailer for The Heartbreak Kid (see #8).

Cancer Sucks

This week I am working from my hometown, hanging with my parents. Sounds “normal”, but usually I would be hanging here with my whole circus, I mean family, including my hubby and two kids.

This time I made the trip solo because my mom starts her chemo treatment on Wednesday and I wanted to be here for moral support, and to help around the house. (My dad is great and has been helpful and very supportive, but sometimes thinks that relish, napkins and other items simply dance their way from the fridge to the dinner table on their own.)

I have done lots and lots of reading on what chemo is, food you can eat to fuel your body and prepare for chemo, and about potential side effects. (My mom and I are going wig shopping on Wednesday too.) But all the reading in the world does not prepare me for how to watch the woman who has given me more strength than anyone in this world suffer. How do you do that?

Maybe I will have an answer after this week, but I bet I won’t.